“Poets claim that we recapture for a moment the self that we were long ago when we enter some house or garden in which we used to live in our youth. But these are most hazardous pilgrimages, which end as often in disappointment as in success. It is in ourselves that we should rather seek to find those fixed places, contemporaneous with different years.” — Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time
Existence precedes Essence
Sartre argued that a central proposition of Existentialism is that existence precedes essence, which means that the most important consideration for individuals is that they are individuals—independently acting and responsible, conscious beings (“existence”)—rather than what labels, roles, stereotypes, definitions, or other preconceived categories the individuals fit (“essence”). Wiki Existentialism
Truth always rests with the minority … because the minority is generally formed by those who really have an opinion, while the strength of a majority is illusory, formed by the gangs who have no opinion. –Kierkegaard
Yellow
Everybody’s wearing yellow
The sun doesn’t come here anymore
High Life (from Claire Denis)
One of all time favorite filmmakers. Another masterpiece: Beau Travail (full film)
Writing Trip on the Trans Siberian
https://www.seat61.com/Trans-Siberian.htm
A lifelong dream journey of endless snow. This is happening.
Slow Down
Slow down with the sun
Hold on we’re still young
And I’m thinking of leaving town
Broken looking for love
And you’re making everything hard
How wrong could I be
I’m not that good at following my heart
And I disappoint so easily
The sun went down tonight
And you’re thinking of leaving town
And I’m broken looking for love
You’re making everything hard
Slow down with the sun
Hold on we’re still young
Why this is
Why this is, a sort of manifesto.
Because I’m tired of feeding a meaningless validation based system.
Tired of being at the mercy of Silicon Valley’s business models. Tired of being turned into a product for profit. To anticipate whats the next big thing, what platform will be. I’m just me. As an artist, the tid bits produced are like a window to my soul- my expression, thoughts, opinions- that I won’t give away as a marketing commodity to social media platforms, in exchange for “exposure”. How is this an exchange when constantly prompted to pay for more “exposure”? If you don’t pay (with literal money, figurative “prostitution” or by spending time on the social media platform), you simply aren’t being exposed.
This is an all-in-one Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, [insert hot new social media platform here]. With no likes, thumbs, or even comments enabled. No one may ever come across this free floating atom, but is it any worse than people mindlessly scrolling through feeds looking for funny memes?
We happen to have a gigantic and free www canvas. It once used to be wild, and belong to the people, not corporations. Before social media and platforms started pissing contests to earn its biggest share and rule over it. Lets take it back.
I spend time exploring rabbit holes on the web. I love falling into them and getting lost not knowing where I will resurface from. With new ideas, thoughts and discoveries. I’m thankful for this technology we have been handed in our generation. For someone who loves connecting the dots, to follow signs, it is like chocolate. When I come across a compelling artist, blog or idea, I bookmark it and check back frequently. Its like a chaotic brain map in constant expansion.
That was the role played by library before the web. Then taken over by such medias as radio and TV. But in all of these cases, there was a curated selection made between you and what you could access. What is precious and invaluable about the free web, is the quasi non existence of a curation system. Once you’ve replaced Google with other search engine such as Duck Duck Go of course, we can tele transport into someone else’s world rid of predetermined algorithms. Open Source like WordPress here, allowing anyone to express and contribute to it.
As a music artist, I will extend this thought into the (lack of or) benefits of record labels curation system as well.
But to cut it short, the free web as libraries, don’t aim at “degrading our humanity”. Social Media by design, do.
If you stumble upon this blog, you may or may not enjoy it. I don’t need to know. I love you all, not for reading me, but just for being. Fellow human, maybe our paths would cross one day, we’d have a drink.
Subversion
“The business models of Silicon Valley are controlling our lives and the price of it all is dehumanization. We eagerly signed up for what they were selling, but soon realized that in doing so, we were accidentally degrading our humanity. We can’t let it subvert our human urge to build meaningful and satisfying life. The problem isn’t the technology per say, but the way so many people engage with these tools.”
— Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism
The tables turned
The tables turned
People hurt people
Hate neither side
Love will Decide
Peace out
You’ve lost the commands
We are in control
Blue
Apparently the sky is blue
Without windows I wouldn’t have a clue
Oh such a fine place
To open up to you
Screens
Looking up at the buildings, the passersby
Watching it unfold
Instead of a screen
Away from the phone
We are all looking down
The sky could fold
Under your wings away from it all.
You’ll loose patience
I’ll disappear
Catching feathers
like kids with no fear
No one to interfere
There is something you don’t know
But we keep staring at each other.
Been doing this my whole life
I have no choice but to express life
It is who I am
When I wake up
The only thing on my mind
Until I fall asleep.
I keep on rowing my boat
In the vastness horizon
When the time is right
Carry me home
Monday Thrill
Ooh you’re my Monday night thrill
Gonna catch a superstar
Now the makeup’s gone
One day you’ll know babe
You had a hold on me
I’ll work on my star gazing
My Monday night thrill
Aye is giving me the fade
Gonna catch a superstar
I’m not sure anymore
What we are
If I should let go
And you thought you were like a god
Aye I’m a shell a remain
An illusion you held
In the palm of your hand.
One day you’ll know babe
You had a hold on me
One day you’ll know babe
You had a hold on me
And you know that you got me
Like everything’s so disconnected
Gonna catch a superstar
Concealing your feelings
Isn’t a way of living babe
One day you’ll know babe
You had a hold on me
One day you’ll know babe
You had a hold on me.
Ooh you’re my Monday night thrill
Now the makeup’s gone
I’ll work on my star gazing
My Monday night thrill
Is giving me the fade
I’m not sure anymore
What we are
If I should let go
The psyche will defend itself in creative ways
Building protection in rainbows and multicolored dreams
Back at it fairytales just doing my thing
You’re so beautiful all my friends wish they were you
And everyone else is better
We are so flawed keep on comparing
But that’s not really what’s life about, measuring
Maybe you’d say some lives aren’t worth living
We are all a moment in each other’s time.
Doomed
The magician no longer is
He’s lost his powers, the girl has to give
Taking a shortcut huh
At the height of the play
he conceded the day
to another woman
She had a masterplan.
Missing a Train
Are we living in the right time
Or a make belief that it will be right tomorrow
Maybe none will be
What you want them to be
And you feel like you keep missing the train
Even though the last one waited for you
You couldn’t make it on time
In a fairy tale you’d turn around
And she’d be standing right in front of you
In a fairy tale you’d turn around
And she’d be standing right in front of you
All the things you could have done differently…
Another day is all we have
Feel the present like it is our lives
The choices we make
The line between the life we could have had
It’s called denial
The best thing we’ve found
When reality deceives
When it creeps in
There is not much we can do
Are we living in the wrong or right time
Or a make belief that it will be right tomorrow
Maybe none will be
What you want them to be
And you feel like you keep missing the train
Even though the last one waited
For you.
(Featured on Kotz. Ave)
Drops of You
The warm summer rain
Washing off the window
Pain rolling down my face
You are not the one I thought
You could have taken my heart away
Forever
Running in the summer rain
I wonder
On and off again
Drops of hope
Why rack my brain
Silhouettes and ghosts
Making up, a lost cause
For you are not
Who I thought
Won’t let me in
Forget me then
Drops of you are falling down
The drain now
Drops of rain are warming out
My pained heart
(Featured on Kotz ave.)
Swim Away
Throw me off your boat in a deep blue sea
Watch you blow away set sails won’t tell
Fucking underwater i’m feeling free
The sunset and all when comes the fall you fade
Don’t jump in I’ll swim away
It’s not like you and I babe
We’re gonna luck out someday
Don’t jump in I’ll swim away
I caught a rose colored ray
Take all my clothes off lift that weight off me
We both know that someday we’ll have to part ways
Praying for clouds i will let it be
Praying aloud i will let it rain
Don’t jump in I’ll swim away
It’s not like you and I babe
We’re gonna luck out someday
Don’t jump in I’ll swim away
I caught a rose colored ray
You were looking out the window
Melting clouds
Waiting for the pain to go
Caught a glimpse of color
Like the sunshine
Never would have asked of you to be mine
How we all go
How we all go wrong
Dreams are on the other side
Walking down the aisle all tongue tied
Dreams are on the other side
Taking me for a ride
(Featured on Kotz. Ave)
So Much Time Gone By
You and her are not exactly lovers
But you’re good at starting over
She doesn’t ring your bell
She keeps tripping on her pills
Tripping on her pills, oh no
You’ll cross each other’s mind off and on
You won’t reach out stay clear of expectation
Tame the fire that burns in her still
Numb her body till you can’t feel
She will fly across the sky
You will hide above the clouds
You’ll cross each other’s mind off and on
You won’t reach out stay clear of expectation
She won’t give herself to you
What have you been told
It’s 40 degrees so much time gone by
And it’s hard to breath
She will fly across the sky
You will hide above the clouds
All you ever taken for granted
You’ve fucked this up from the start
Oh no
She won’t fight no
She won’t fight no
Cold heart
She will fly across the sky
You will hide above the clouds
(Featured on Kotz. ave)
Like a light inside
I wonder what time of year
If it all went down the path
to the past or future
Live before you die
Like a lion inside
All the stars and neon lights
Daydreaming on my cloud
The sun in my eyes
Oh, looking deep inside
We carry the dreams
of our mothers and fathers
They won’t take what’s inside
We’ve got nothing to hide
We carry the dreams of our mothers
Some people lie and will try to crush you
In your dreams you are the same no matter what you do
Like a lion inside
Look away out of sight
All of the fallen trees
In this forrest of fears
Turned into silence
All the stars in broad daylight
Daydreaming
Surrender neon lights
Come down
(Featured on Kotz. Ave)
Turned our Heads
Lights are on
Moving on
Shining bright
Like the sun
Hear them speak
Feel the heat
Light on
Light on
Are you ready for some fun
Higher now
Down we go
They call you out
Keeping it real low
Take a bow, move on
Are you ready for some fun
You make space for it
There is a fire burning my skin
Are we ready for fun
The bright lights keep you from seeing
Won’t stop information feeding
What’s wrong with being
And I’m falling falling falling
The rain pours pieces of heaven
Down my naked skin
I’m alive
Maybe we’re locked inside our heads
Not finding any meaning
At the height of this parade
We’re in
Maybe we’re locked inside our heads
Maybe we’re locked inside our heads
Not finding any meaning
At the height of this parade
We’re in
Light on
Light on
Are we locked inside our heads
In a digital age.
Maybe we’re locked inside our heads
Not finding any meaning
At the height of this parade
We’re in
Light on
Light on
(Featured on Kotz Ave.)
Digital surveillance machine
“Facebook, at its core, is a surveillance machine, and to expect that to change is misplaced optimism.” Tim Wu for the NYT
Stand up desks and coworking spaces
All asking to interact on screen in a box
I don’t know that I can do any of this
Oh no
Efficiency
The sun barely up already huge traffic jam everywhere
What a rat race
Humans